Shiraz Made Australia’s Grape

Breaking News: Late yesterday Australia’s Prime Minister John Howhard announced that his government had passed legislation making Shiraz the national grape. "This decision is not about choosing one variety over another. It recognises Shiraz in its historical role in laying the foundation for the Australian wine industry," he said. "Over the next weeks members of my government will be meeting with officials from the United Nations to draft language that will ensure that the name Shiraz is used only in Australia. We will not allow use of the name in other countries." When questioned, Howhard conceded that Australia may allow use of Syrah by other countries. "At least until such time as we are successful in securing a UN resolution restricting the cultivation of Shiraz (Syrah) to Australia."

"Shiraz is already recognized by the tens of thousands of enthusiasts who attend our annual Festival", explained Justin Time of Timeless Winery and the President of the Board of Shiraz Imbibers & Cultists (SIC). "This is a vote for agriculture, for the rich history and the role that wine has played in this great country," he added. "It is extremely far-sighted that the Government has chosen to support both SIC and the 'grass-roots' Shiraz constituency with this vote." His final comment was met with raucous approval from the hundreds of SIC members present. "On to the U.N."